the pokken fanfiction fanfiction - Bolimar's last stand
by boli boy
Summary: The world of Enae has gone to ruin, and there is seemingly one survivor. How the HECK did the world come to this? Join Bolimar on his journey to godhood and meet all of your favorite Pokken players, including UDL, Slippingbug, and Digit. Based on Rokso's masterpiece still in development, the pokken fanfic.


Now that I think about it, the sun is the only thing that has stayed the same since this whole ordeal. Millions of miles away from here, it has been watching us from the safety of it's own little spot in the universe. It beckons me as it sets in the West. Though it lights the war-torn wasteland around me I can't bring myself to look at anything else. I follow it in hopes that it will lead me somewhere else, somewhere that I can find my purpose again. Deep down in my heart I know it's a hopeless endeavor, but even deeper lies my desperation to get the heck outta here. It feels to me like a few minutes have past by in the hours it took to fade with the horizon, it has been so long since anything has ever meant anything to anything at all. By the time night falls, I don't hesitate to drop on the road to slumber. There is no need for shelter, nothing special has happened in a long time. Life is nothing but routine at this point, an endless cycle of walking and sleeping in hopes that things will change. They will not. I wake up, sun's heading West again. Mister sun won't mind if I tag along, he never does.

"Ay guy, why don't you make me a mother fuckin' sandwich?"

What the heck was that...

"I'm fuckin' hungry guy what the hell!"

Something just happened. My capacity to be surprised hasn't been exercised in a while, but it still can't quite sink in. What's going on?

"Man I tell you, this job as the absolute and all-powerful God thing ain't got no BENEFITS."

This wonderful, beautiful harbinger change speaks to me once more. I begin to collect myself to say something to him before he blesses me with his words once more.

"If I ask my subject to make me a fuckin' sandwich, then they better make me a fuckin' sandwich! Am I right Kino?"

I forgot how to say "Kino's dead", but I do find it in myself to say something.

"H-hi"

"Where the FUCK is Kino? What the FUCK happened to Enae? You, Bolimar I think, that stupid ass reject comic book character and apparently the only idiot around here, by my royal decree I command you to make me a FUCKEN sandwich!"

Before I can even process what he just said, I'm making him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Darn, it looks beautiful, I never took myself for the best sandwich maker guy in the universe, but apparently I am. I don't even know what's going on, but I hand him my masterpiece of a sandwich without any thought at all. He snags it without hesitation, scarfing it down like a Mega Gengar burst attacking a Shadow Mewtwo.

"You know what Bolimar, I think we got off on the wrong foot. You're a little fucken bitch, but you make a DAMN fine sandwich."

I take the compliment with glee. I literally didn't even have to try making that sandwich.

"You look a little worn out, kid, so by my royal decree, I command you to straighten yourself out. Also, you owe me a cherry limeade and a couple a chuck o cheese tokens for this."

Memories and emotions begin to flow anew through my head, as if I've been taken back millions of years through time, before all the crazy stuff happened to the world. I feel rejuvenated as I hand the dude a cherry limeade and a couple of chuck o cheese tokens, both of which didn't exist until now.

"Thanks Boli boy, I really needed those chuck o cheese tokens to get my sandwich machine working again. That's why I came here in the first place. You're a real pal."

Man, is that Bim? I know who he is, I think that was just a rhetorical question, probably. Ever since he became ultimate god of the universe, the first thing he did was make it so that his name would only be mentioned in question form. It's pretty annoying.

"Yeah, it's no problem, wouldn't you say Bim? Now by my royal decree, stop using bad words."

"Wait what the flippin heck Boli Boli ravioli? How did you block my dimmidy darn cuss words?"

"HAH. I'm still one of the gods myself, sick!"

"Hey meany head, I have authority over your stinkin rule! By my royal decree, I command you to switch it back!"

"By my royal decree, can Bim please have his cuss words back?"

"FUCK you. Anyway, can someone tell me what the FUCK happened to Enae?"

Even with my memories back and better than ever, don't you think it will be pretty hard for me to tell Bim the whole story? I suppose I should go before Rokso's surprising uprising, before Twixxie's risky revenge, before Thankswalot's monochromatic monarchy, and before UDL's Ultra Destructive L-emination. Before all of it. I will have to start from the top.


End file.
